No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
