thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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