I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
