I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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