Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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