I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
