My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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