why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My balls are so social today.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
