everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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