U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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