I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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