I am puke
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
