Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
