it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
