I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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