if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
