If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
