the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
