I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He has the fingertips of a God
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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