I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
