this beer tastes like vomit already
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
