you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
