R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
