just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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