dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
