So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
