No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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