I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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