This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
