He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
