Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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