I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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