Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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