when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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