who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
