Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
