I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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