and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
