how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
