So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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