I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
