Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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