i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
