So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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