You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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