I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
