How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
