The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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