Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
