I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
