You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
