I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
