I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
